Stories from the front lines of an unplanned pregnancy.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

On why I'm not a healthy eater...

A scene from my morning, featuring the Squatter (also known as the the
"Take-take-take-never-give-back-nothing--but-a-punch-to-the-pancreas-
darling-unborn-babe-of-mine"):

Me:
Hmmm... I'm getting hungry. Now what should I have for lunch? Man, I am seriously craving some chocolate chip ice cream and a grilled cheese sandwich. But I should probably have something healthy. Like a nice, big green sala-- Ouch!

Squatter: A salad? Bitch, how about a roundhouse kick to the bladder, instead? You know I don't want no goddamn salad. I ain't no goddamn rabbit. Yo, you got any Ho Hos out there?

Me: You know what? I think I'll have that grilled cheese sandwich, after al-- Ow!

Squatter: And some Ho Hos!

Me: And some Ho Hos.

2 comments:

your dearest megan (who's not ignoring you) said...

This is why the childhood obesity rate is skyrocketing.

...Just saying.

taytolicious said...

your squatter reminds me of kunta...

santa betta watch is white ass!