1. The trash in the bathroom will not take itself out. Nor will anyone but you ever do the honors. This is a fact entirely unrelated to how overstuffed it is.
2. There are few things in this world as immensely satisfying as a Nathan's hotdog.
3. You cannot sleep off a headache-- No matter how many hours you devote to the cause (I think. I gave up after four).
4. Roommates are God's way of letting you know that he hates you. The messes they leave all over the kitchen are their way of showing you how much they agree.
5. Jodie Foster is the big brother of that precious little Efron girl from Disney.
Thank you, that is all.
(Editor's Note: Number five is not actually true, but the humble opinion of the writer who feels very strongly that a. Zac Efron has not only a purdy lil' face and an unhealthy love of the pancake foundation, but a vagina; b. Jodie Foster is a man; and that c. The two talented (albeit gender-bendy) actors are related. Look at them, for Christ's sake. They're nothing but a y chromosome and 20 years from being the same person.)